Moving in together is a big step for any relationship. While many believe that you shouldn’t do it without a long-term commitment, others prefer to give the relationship a “test drive” with a little cohabitation before moving forward.
No matter which side of the issue you’re on, there are a few important questions to ask before moving in together. Once you’ve got the answers, from yourself and from your man, you’ll truly be ready for taking this leap in your relationship.
Are You Moving in Together Too Soon?
If your relationship has been going forward too fast, the move might be less of a joy than you think. It’s important that you really know your boyfriend before committing to living together. Have you even been on a vacation together? When you jump too fast into moving in with your man, you’ll get to know him even faster, and you might not like what you see.
Is It for Convenience?
One of the best questions to ask before moving in together is if this steps is emotionally important to you. If you’ve just doing it out of convenience, because you spend most time together anyway, and living together will help both of you save some rent and utilities money, you might be making a mistake. Unless you genuinely want to share more of your time with your man and make this commitment together, don’t rush into it.
Are Your Lifestyles Truly Compatible?
If your work schedule is significantly different, moving in together might not even mean spending more time together. Make sure that there’s at least partial compatibility when it comes to how you each spend most of your time. If he prefers going out almost every night, while you like to stay in, or entertain friends and family, you should find some common ground on that before living together.
Is Moving in Together a Step in Your Relationship or the Destination?
One of the best questions to ask before moving in together is if living together is the last stage of your relationship. If you’re hoping for much more, including a proposal and your dream wedding, you need to know how he feels about that too. When your boyfriend tells you that he doesn’t want to get married, you shouldn’t try to use moving in to change his mind. Make sure that you’re on the same page before this big commitment.
See also: How to Bring Up Having a Baby
Do You Have a Plan for the Financial Aspects of It?
It’s important to discuss a few financial details before moving in. Will you split every expense in half? How about grocery shopping? At the very least, you should make a plan for that, so you don’t both end up getting the same perishable foods at the same time.
Will You Still Want to Spend Time Alone?
Even if you’re absolutely sure that you want to spend more time with your partner, one of the most important questions to ask before moving in together is how much time do you need to spend alone. When you’re sharing every moment at home with someone, you might feel like all your me time has disappeared. Discuss this issue with your boyfriend or fiancé before you start packing.
Are You Willing to Sacrifice Some of Your Things?
Even if you’re moving together in a much bigger place, you might still not have enough space for all your things. Make sure that you’re ready to compromise, and put some of your belongings in storage if that’s an issue. You’re both equals in the relationship, so don’t ask your man to part with more or most of his just because you don’t like them.
How Will You Handle the Chores?
Definitely one of the dealbreaker questions to ask before moving in together is how will you share the responsibilities. Just because you’re living together should never mean that you’re automatically in charge of cooking and cleaning, while he’s responsible for opening jars, killing spiders and taking the garbage out.
More: Set Healthy Relationship Boundaries
Are You Ready to Really Know Your Partner?
Once you move in, you’ll learn a lot more about your man, including his bathroom routine. Will that make it less sexy or romantic? Decide for yourself.
Can You Handle Conflict without Walking Away?
One of the best questions to ask before moving in together is if you can settle arguments without needing time alone. If you can’t, moving in together might not be the best idea for your relationship.
