Whirlwind romances sometimes last a lifetime, but many other times, they end up with a very quick and unexpected break up. Moving too fast in your relationship can actually shorten the “honeymoon phase” and draw attention to incompatibilities that would be easier to fix if things moved slower in the first place.
It’s not easy to fix a relationship that moved too fast, but if you’re really into your partner, then here are a few tips that you can employ to solve the problem without pushing your guy away for good.
Be Honest With Yourself
Before you talk to your partner about slowing down, it’s important to really analyze your own reasons for wanting it. If you skip too many steps in a relationship you can certainly have trouble later on, but “moving too fast” can also be code for having bad feeling and refusing to accept major incompatibilities that were revealed by sharing too much too soon.
Discuss the Problem
The natural building of trust, that comes with time, can be ignored in favor of enthusiasm about finding someone you really like spending time with. If you want to fix a relationship that moved too fast, it’s important to be open when you discuss the issue with your partner. Avoid negative language, don’t say you feel suffocated, even if that’s the truth. Instead, focus on explaining how a little less time spent together can actually improve your connection.
Be Thoughtful About It
Once you rush over the discovery period in a relationship, taking a step back is often considered the first sign of an impending breakup. Make sure you explain that you don’t want to end it, and you just feel like both of you could benefit from a little distance. Be warm and affectionate when you have this big discussion, since it’s very easy to make your partner feel rejected and make him initiate the breakup.
Work On Better Boundaries
You can’t fix a relationship that moved too fast if you don’t have healthy boundaries. It’s very tempting to jump ahead to the point when the guy you’ve started dating is both your best friend and your soulmate and you have to share everything. Doing that too early can sabotage your relationship, so work together to establish boundaries that work both ways.
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Catch Up With Friends and Family
An unfortunate side effect about rushing into a relationship is that you have less time for your friends and family. Getting back in touch with your support system can be beneficial in a lot of ways. Whether you want to discuss your relationship or just spend time together doing other things, your family and friends can help you clear your mind and figure out what you really want out of this relationship.
Reiterate Exclusivity
When you’re willing to fix a relationship that moved too fast, you should know that your chances of success for dialing it back to casually dating are slim. Let your partner know that you still want exclusivity and he’s a priority for you if you hope to solve your relationship issues.
Don’t Send Mixed Signals
Once you’ve set up your boundaries, you have to respect them. Sending mixed signals by breaking your own rules, then cooling things off is a recipe for disaster.
Spend Time Apart Doing Fun Things
One of the reasons why you need to fix a relationship that moved too fast is that you run out of things to talk about. When you spend time apart, try to experiment with new and fun things, so you have more experiences to share.
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Focus on the Things You Enjoy Together
Spending a lot of time together can lead to fatigue for both partners, and if you’re going to reduce that, you can’t touch the things you enjoy doing together. Go on your own for things that your boyfriend isn’t interested in and make plans that you know will end up as a great experience for both.
Revisit the Issue in a Month
When you’re trying to fix a relationship that moved too fast, it can be very important to set a timeframe for seeing if you’ve made any progress on the issue. A month is usually enough to know if things are going in the right direction or if slowing down the relationship didn’t help at all.
