Feeling guilty after a breakup is perfectly normal, even if you know you have no rational reason for it. Instead of allowing yourself to move on, guilt can keep you stuck after a breakup and even ruin any potential new love connections.
Find out how to get over breakup guilt and move on from a breakup without beating yourself up about it. From reminding yourself why it had to happen to making sure that you remove any triggers, here are the best ways to speed up the healing process and make guilt go away.
Consider the Alternative
Once you make up your mind about breaking up, there are very few reasons to put it off. Fight the guilt by thinking about the feeling of being trapped in a relationship you don’t want anymore. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to your guy. Unless you actively hurt your boyfriend, by cheating on him or treating him badly, you should allow yourself to feel the guilt for a day or two then let it go.
Keep Thinking About the Reasons for Breaking Up
One of the easiest ways to get over breakup guilt is to make a list of all the reasons why the relationship had to end. You don’t have to analyze the specifics, just remind yourself how you felt when you decided to break up. Stop blaming yourself for ending a relationship that simply wasn’t working out for you.
Don’t Fight the Excitement
If you’re feeling relieved or excited about moving on with your life, the last thing you should be doing is pushing these feeling away so you can focus on your guilt. They’re the best evidence that you did the right thing in ending the relationship, and you should enjoy them as the right way to start a new chapter in your life.
See also: How to Get Over a Breakup Faster
Don’t Allow Your Ex to Make You Feel Guilty
Keeping in touch with your ex right after the breakup can lead to a lot of negative feelings. He might even try to make you feel guiltier. Get over breakup guilt by getting some space from him. Even if you plan on staying friends, you both need some time to really get over it in order to be able to relate to each other as friends. However, if your ex is trying to manipulate you and use guilt to make you feel bad or even get back together, you should reconsider the plans for the friendship.
Avoid Starting a New Relationship Right Away
While you may think that a rebound is just what you need right now, don’t rush into it before getting over the initial exhaustion after the breakup. Focus on what you need to feel complete without a man before you start dating again. You might also feel guilty that you moved on right away while your ex is still dealing with the breakup.
Trust Yourself That You Did the Right Thing
If you second guess yourself about initiating the end of the relationship, you’ll have a harder time getting over breakup guilt. You knew that it was for the best when you made the decision, so there’s no point in agonizing over it again.
Forgive Yourself Because You Were Honest
Even when you know it’s the right thing, breaking up is a difficult experience. Being honest with yourself and with your guy was an act of courage, and there’s no reason to feel guilty about that.
More: How NOT to Handle a Breakup
Acknowledge That He’s Now Free to Find the Right Girl
While calling the breakup a favor is pushing it, the truth is that he’s now no longer in a relationship with a partner who wanted different things. No matter how much he’s hurting right now, he’ll find someone more compatible, and you need to think of that to get over breakup guilt.
Avoid the Triggers
Sometimes, the easiest way to put all the negative feelings behind is to avoid any triggers. Put away things that remind you of your ex, mute him on Twitter and remove him from your Facebook timeline. The last thing you need to do is read his sad messages on social media.
Stop Checking Up on Your Ex
It’s your ex’s problem when he moves on, not yours. Even if you cut him off on social media, you can still get updates about his life from friends. But you shouldn’t do that if you want to get over breakup guilt. Whether he’s already in a new relationship or not, you already moved on, so let him go.
