If your guy lacks confidence, that can certainly translate into some trouble for the relationship. His self esteem should be his problem, but if you care about him, you have quite a few options to help him out.
Sometimes the right way to go is not to address the problem head on, but instead to start with a few subtle ways of encouraging him and helping him overcome the issue. If that doesn’t help, there are a few more steps that you can use when figuring out how to help him be more confident.
Encourage Him to Focus on the Positives
A healthy way to create a support system in any relationship, focusing on the positives can help. If he brushes aside all his achievement, it’s up to you to make a big deal about them and encourage him to take it to the next level. If he wants to talk about how useless he is, hijack the conversation and remind of things he’s good at.
Support Him in His Goals
One of the best ways to help him be more confident is to support him when he sets goals for himself. That doesn’t mean that you should take over and push him when he’s not willing to push himself, but you should always be supportive and offer to help out when he’s trying to reach an important goal, either in his education or in his career.
Give Him Honest Compliments
If he’s not used to noticing his own accomplishments, you should take over. Don’t shower him with insincere compliments. Instead, focus on the things that really impress you. If he’s having body image issues, be supportive with specific compliments when you’re telling him what you love about his body.
Don’t Take Constructive Criticism Too Far
While people with big egos can completely ignore constructive criticism even when it’s very valid, guys with low self esteem and confidence issues can get completely demoralized by it. You can’t help him be more confident by ignoring his mistakes altogether, but when you do have criticism to offer, make sure that it’s wrapped in a compliment.
See also: 10 Relationship Hacks That Keep Love Alive
Thank Him
Men’s egos are often tied to their ability to provide and protect, so you should definitely show him some appreciation when he’s doing it right. It doesn’t matter if he makes a mess, as long as his intentions are good, you should give him a little praise, while also encouraging him to leave the complex things, like the electric system, to pros.
Don’t Be Afraid to Point Out Toxic People
One of the best ways to help him be more confident is to point out things or people that are draining his confidence and self esteem. When it’s a family member or a really close friend that’s contributing to the problem, things can get complicated. You should push him to eliminate the toxic influence right away, but you can open his eyes on how some interactions with people he cares about can be a bad thing for his confidence.
Show Him That It’s Fine to Laugh at Yourself
Knowing how to dispel tension is a gift, and he may not have it. If you can laugh at yourself when you’re doing something stupid, he might learn that the same approach works for him too. A lack of confidence can’t be fixed by humor, but its negative effects can be slightly diminished by it.
Be Affectionate and Supportive in Public
PDAs and praising your guy in front his friends, family or even strangers can go a long way when it comes to his confidence levels. Support him and stand by him in public if you’re wondering how to help him be more confident.
Don’t Make Him Feel Broken
If he doesn’t make progress as fast as you’d like, you might get frustrated, but don’t take it out on him. Making your guy feel like there’s something wrong with him because he isn’t more confident will usually have negative effects on him, that can destroy the progress he’s already made.
More: 10 Worst Things to Say to Your Boyfriend
Push Him to Get Help
When you’re starting to see that his lack of confidence isn’t just a nuisance to you, but it’s becoming a big obstacle in his day to day life, the best way to help him be more confident is to suggest getting the opinion of a professional. Therapy can help him overcome the root of his lack of confidence and give him a new outlook.
